OK, let's talk about MY sex life a little...

[MustangSally]

Ok...so today I'm thinking that all the sex stuff and a lot of the "around the house" problems really deal with a "fear of intimacy" type issue. He really doesn't let me near him in any way.

On the financial front, as I expected, he's trying to push off a lot of the other bills on me. He won't ask me to pay his CC bills, but he's trying to get around it by trying to get money out of me in other ways. Confrontation will most likely occur reasonably soon.

I believe his court date is Monday...can't remember if he actually told me the date, but I know he said it was soon. I know it's Monday (maybe Tuesday) because I'm now such a little snoop.

I don't know if I'm paranoid, but I think there's a chance he went to the club on Friday. I have no proof whatsoever, except he took $200 out of his checking account at an ATM near there. There are like a million other reasons for him to be in that area. When I came home from work Friday (he was off that day) he was doing laundry. So I immediately jump to the conclusion that he's getting "that smell" off his clothes.

I keep telling myself I'm paranoid...he always does his own laundry and I keep telling him if he's going to do that, he should do it Fridays instead of waiting till the weekend when I'm doing laundry.

And he wasn't acting "weird", all the suspicious phone numbers are deleted from his phone. I have no real reason to suspect him. I just wonder if I'm going to always be like this now?

Anyway, back to the intimacy thing....I desperately need some sort of reassurance and I know I'm not going to get it...damn, I could just use a kiss from my husband instead of just sex. I need to be patient, things are going well otherwise and if I start getting crazy/needy I'll screw things up. Plus I'm NOT the crazy/needy type, normally I'm pretty secure and confident but right now, just typing this out, I'm in tears.

I hate that things are actually SO MUCH better but I can't be normal inside