I admire you for not being in debt, I honestly thought that's where we were at the beginning of the year. I want to live my life that way from now on. At least I know I'm not running up CC bills.

Honey, I don't know how to explain it except to say that if I confront him about the money, then he wins. He is very passive aggressive. He is also aware of what a stupid thing he did, whether or not he will ever actually admit it to me.

I will probably, at some point, do exactly what you're saying. But I will most likely wait till he brings it up. The part about the sarcastic comment is really just what I'm trying to keep myself from doing...and I'm not 100% sure I can restrain myself if he starts up with me about money.

Frankly, I want him to pay every dollar of this debt, and I also want him to have some sort of real punishment for his DWI. He needs to learn that you can't live that kind of life without paying.

Another part of me sees him *really trying* to straighten up right now. I don't know if it will last. I'm hopeful. Adding a ton more pressure to the situation is only going to hurt it, I can tell he's fragile.

Still trying to think of goals for NOPkins...I know I want to stay the course on the "high road". I would really like to not let him see me break...every once in awhile he'll make a comment (as a joke) that hits me wrong. I know how he means it, but *I* am fragile now too, so sometimes stuff touches a nerve. I'd like to not tear up when this stuff happens, but at least sometimes when I react, I get a little sex out of it.


My real goal is to have him say to me someday "Thank You for fighting so hard for our marriage". Since I know a little bit about setting goals, I know that's not a real one, but I want to be there someday.


Slowly all the roles we act out become our Identity, And in the end we are what we pretend to be. -Jerry Cantrell