OK, let's talk about MY sex life a little...

[MustangSally]

First of all NOPkins, I want to acknowledge your question and I need to think of a realistic answer. Being realistic is the tough part.

And OG_Lou, I don't know what to tell you. I agree with you 100%. I don't want to make excuses. I guess the closest I can come up with an "excuse" is that why do the idiot credit cards let someone with a high school education, working class job, have credit almost up to his total annual income? In fact, his available credit is probably more than he makes in a year, he just hasn't *quite* maxed out the cards. His minimum payments probably pretty much equal his take home pay.

Still, I think he is responsible for his own actions. I can't even imagine where his brain was at, spending that kind of money (or maybe we all know what he was thinking with).

And if he were to get hit by that hypothetical truck, I file for BR, get stuck with no credit available to me for how many years? I must admit, that's one of the appealing parts of this, he'll stop getting those "you've been approved" CC things in the mail...or at least he won't be getting cards with $12000 limits any more.

As far as your boys home...you're right, people who get bailed out never learn. We've never been bailed out in our lives, in fact H has been on his own pretty much since he was 16, self supporting, paying his own bills, rent, buying his own car.

Maybe even that ^^^ is a bit of the problem, he's trying to live out the teenage years he didn't really get to live? I'm not going to analyze it. I don't know. A huge lapse of sanity in an otherwise normal guy? I do think he is/was suffering from clinical depression and apparently this was his *high*.

Either way, I'm trying to find a way to handle this. He's 46 years old, he will never pay this off. It doesn't seem right to make my kids pay for this (yeah, I know, it's not right for the CC's to pay it either). I haven't done all the math yet, but I wonder how we'll afford college expenses, pull them out of private school now?(most of their tuition is paid by a grant)...My 16 year old daughter is already working so that she can get the "extras" a lot of kids would consider essentials.

I dunno. I don't want to pretend I think this is right or fair. It is very wrong. I strongly believe he deserves to pay those bills. I don't know what to do though. Maybe this is one way that he gets all the effects of his problems...he gets his credit screwed up, mine stays clear, he can't push other expenses off on me that he should be contributing to, but can't, because of his past "expenditures".

I'm just rambling...I honestly wish there was some way to take back the $$$ from the club owners, and even THAT isn't right. (let the girls have their money...)

Anyway, we work hard, drive old cars (I just got a "new" used car, because my old 15 year old car was literally falling apart). You would think we lived an extravagant lifestyle, considering the fact that we can afford to support strippers...but we live in a small house, in a not great neighborhood. I don't want to complain, just want to make sure you know that, otherwise, we are not blowing money left and right, we don't take vacations...

I guess, re reading this, it all sounds like excuses. I think I'm considering doing things I never thought I would do, just to get through all this and keep our lives somewhat intact. If he lived alone, I think he would deserve to lose his house and his car and whatever else it takes to pay that bill.