Quote: --------- And NOPkins...I guess I know I should let him chase me, be a little less "easy". That's what I used to do...at some point though he quit chasing. I also thought that maybe in some way by chasing after him, making him feel attractive and sexy, I may be in some way meeting the needs that are being met by his stripper buddies. I think I need to find some sort of balance between the two sides. Thoughts on that?? ---------
The fact is that you can't be his stripper. What he is getting from that 'exchange' is not what he thinks he is getting. He is buying a fantasy, not reality. At some point in time, he will have to realize that he must separate fiction from reality. At that point in time, if the two of you want to play stripper, then have fun.
Don't reward wrong behavior. It doesn't work for kids, it doesn't work for spouses.
Do work on your relationship. There is a weakness there that needs to be addressed.
He needs to respect you, and he needs to re-earn your respect. Before that can happen, he needs to realize the seriousness of the slippery slop he is/was on.
Back to the sex, you can be reasonably open and available to him. You can have whatever flavor of sex you are both accustomed to, but I would strongly recommend that you not play stripper with him, at least until your relationship is healed and he has gained a clue or four.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
