OK, let's talk about MY sex life a little...

[MustangSally]

Yes it's me, the woman with the notorious strip club hubby...thought maybe I'd talk a little about my sex life since it's about time I posted something on topic in this forum.

Too lazy to go into our 25 year history at this point, lets talk about now...

My usually pretty HD H has hit the strip clubs...for lots of reasons, but in relationship to our sex life, I'm gonna say that he's 46 years old, not quite as horny as he used to be, and the hot chicks at the club ALWAYS get him horny, as opposed to his boring 41 year old wife.

I, on the other hand, am emotionally needy at this point because of other stuff in the past year and I need ANY kind of affection and I'm settling for sex, anytime, anywhere...

So in a way, we have switched places and I've become the HD and he's LD...he's turned me down for sex more times this year than we've actually had sex some years...

So, OK this is a weird place for me. I don't mind initiating sex, but since I'm pretty emotionally fragile right now, I take it pretty hard when he turns me down. I also think that there's a bit of "why don't I want sex anymore, must be cuz she's not sexy" tied in with possibly lower sex drives cuz he's hitting the mid life thing and is most definetly insecure and loves getting affirmations from his little t-bar sluts (and does he not SEE that he's paying them thousands of dollars to tell him how hot he is???)

So, anyway...we do have sex at least about once a week still, sometimes more, almost always after a fight/discussion about a relationship.

One of the things that bothers me is I feel like I have to be sexy/slutty all the time to turn him on. I don't mind that sometimes, but I sort of feel like in a way I'm degrading myself more and making things worse. Does that make sense? He's sort of getting off on semi dominating me (nothing abusive physically, just sort of controlling)...and he meets my needs but only in ways that get him excited...works for me but emotionally I'm feeling sort of used and I'm already having self esteem issues considering everything else going on.

So, I'm not sure what I'm asking here. I guess I'm asking if I'm doing the right thing in meeting his needs for now, because I enjoy it too though it's not exactly what I want. I just don't want it to become a pattern.

And how do I reaffirm a guy like this? I can't always be "misssluttyooohIwantyouyou'resosexy", I'm a mom too and I have stuff to do and a life to life and I'm a freakin' accountant!!!

Any ideas? Funny part is I'm pretty much open to try stuff sexually but I don't think it should always have to be this way...