I'll just add that sometimes it takes something shocking in order to wake up from our misperceptions and begin to see things from our partner's POV. There are no guarantees and no one can say at this point if it's "too little too late" or if H will give things a second chance, but if you are committed to working on yourself ( and it sounds like you are), in the end you will grow and become a better person. That truly is the gift in all this.
You have received some excellent advice already. I want to add one thing to it.
If your husband is already having an affair, then your approach will have to be a bit different. Before you invite him back into your bed, you will need to know *for certain* where his parts have been so that you can protect yourself.
You can pledge that you will address the issues that led up to the separation, and that you are willing to go to counseling with him or by yourself, if he will come home. BUT you simply *must* insist on protection from STDs before you accept him back in your bed.
I hope that your separation has not been an excuse for him to date - or have an affair. Unfortunately, this happens all too often.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
