Hi all. I'm new to this and after reading threads for the pst 3 hrs, decided to jump in... however, I'm still not sure how this works. Anyway, here goes...
H and I have been S for 2 mnths now. we are on a 6/mnth "trial S" whatever that means. I'm miserable and have finally accepted that I am to blame for this S. My H is the SSM and has been for over 4 years... our entire marriage. After reading the different posts, I can't believe i thought things were ok. I've deprived this man of ML for so long... he's such a strong, secure individual and I've stripped him of that. All for for PRIDE!! I've always seen ML as something he has to earn, not something he needs. Anyway, that's something I'm in C for and am working on. In the meantime, I need lots of good advice.
H and I have been close (very good friends which is probably why I failed to bring intimacy to our M) for sooo long. We both love each other very much. He wanted this seperation b/c he just couldn't live like this anymore (sex-deprived.) Now that he's completely opened up to me and I feel I've lost him, I want him so bad I can't stand it! He understandably has built up walls at this point that he won't let down. He doesn't won't to ML because he feels he will be cheating me... he is unsure of how in-love he is with me now after having to FIND unattractive things about me for so many years just to be able to fall asleep at night. How in the hell do I get back in to his heart and show him that I now understand? I'm not sure I would trust me if I were him either... imagine, 4 years of rejection. Yes, we ML within these 4 yrs, but I never initiated anything. What the hell was I thinking? Now, unfortunately too late... I need him, want him and want a whole new marriage that is healthy sexually. Is it too late? Any advice from people on the opposite end of the spectrum?
This probably makes no sense... I feel I'm babbling.
