Since you are on the LD side of your R you might want to check into MrsNOPkins posts. She and MrNOPkins have both been posting on here lately...she is/was the LD partner in that relationship...and they've had success in their R. Not to mention both a very intelligent people who are able to clearly state their perspectives.
Well...since your H is against adoption and other methods are extremely expensive for you I definitely have sympathy for your situation. My best advice for you though is to work on your R with your H and learn to enjoy sex with him. If foreplay is a technique issue for you (whether yours or his) definitely explore this. Find what works for you the best...and as uncomfy as this can be explain it to him...or show him. That's what I'm having to learn to do with my H :-)
I'm very hopeful that if you can learn to enjoy ML just for it's own benefits, then perhaps you'll relax enough to be able to become pregnant. I really hope you can, it's an experience I could never explain to another woman...and really, truly hope you are able to experience for yourself.
