Good grief! What a wide-ranging discussion from one tiny paragraph!
First, thanks to all who've added their thoughts - not sure I'll be able to deal with every point but it has helped to get some feedback even if some of the responses left me a bit puzzled and (I have to say it) slightly irritated. This last was really at those who don't have the experience of sub-fertility and so isn't really fair, I know. To those that have, thank you for your understanding and comments. I can't remember who it was who wrote a lovely long reponse about 2 couples she knows but you have a really good grasp of many of the emotional issues and hearing that really helped. The impact that the fertility stuff has had is enormous. I was a member of a net discussion/message group connected with endometriosis while I was going through it and most people there knew what I was talking about without detailed explanation because they have been there themselves. My fault, I forgot that the rest of world doesn't, perhaps! Sorry for irritated outburst above. Hormones?
As for adoption, my H won't hear of it at the mo esp as I'd like a baby and there aren't any in my area of UK to adopt. We'd therefore have to go abroad and pay enormous amounts of money which he says he feels is morally wrong. I disagree and am not actually sure that he really feels the way he says he does - I think it's an excuse for some other reservation he has but doesn't want to dredge up at the moment. In any event, we haven't the money for this or for IVF which here costs the equivalent of about $6,000 per cycle. Actually, I think the very act of putting down "on paper" the idea that I'd muddled ML with ttc (trying to conceive - an endo board abbreviation) has helped me to think about this a bit more. In fact, I did manage to initiate yesterday and H was a happy bunny!
Re: the foreplay issue: it's not that I need it so no KY etc required. I think it might be a technique issue. Something I have to ponder on a bit more for myself. And, no, there is no abuse in my background.
A question: am I right in thinking that most people here are HD relative to their partners? I can't seem to find many posts from LD people.
H does have moments of frustration about the situation and we have had some enormous rows about it. I know he feels rejected,disappointed etc. He doesn't go on about it all the time, however, and he is still making initiating moves. Pressurising though I find it, I do acknowledge that this is a good sign that he hasn't entirely given up.
In summary, I think that this LD stage in my life has a great deal to do with the endo/surgery/fertility issues. I believe it's these that I need to work on and, if I never visit this site again, the fact that it's given me the opportunity to make this connection and to hear from other people who know a bit about this stuff has been a big step in the right direction. So, thank you.
