My H used to tell me that I was too fat to arouse his interest, but he would also tell me that he understood that it might be impossible for me to lose the weight. To seal the deal he would do things like buy me a giant candy bar everytime he picked up a 6-pack for himself. I think my fat must have been a real comfort to him on some level.
Now that I'm not so fat (I'm still a "big girl" but I like me the way I am.), I've started to become more obsessed with my signs of aging. My sister and I were doing pinch tests on each others hands yesterday. OTOH I'm kind of in complete denial about the fact that I'm turning 40. I was at a book sale yesterday (Book sales are kind of like athletic events if you are a book dealer. You are completely focused on task and otherwise inattentive.) and some guy in his 50s groped me inappropriately in passing. My immediate thought was "Get out of my space you old pervert". I was later amused to realize that I was thinking of someone as "old" who was really pretty much a peer.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
