Hi all, I've been busy with work today and not had time to post...the busyness helps me get a little more on track though...I feel quite a bit better. Thank you all for your input, I would probably swirl right down the drain if it wasnt for you all...so, to respond to each of your posts, because I think each has so much helpful insight:
Sage...yep, I know you are right, and the same thought has been knocking around in my head, I gotta put it to work/into practice. I have actually been considering something that I read on someones thread in mlc, I know Snodderly posted it, and I think it may have been to What's Next, but she suggested wearing rubber bands on your wrist and snapping them hard when you think of ow/h. I am thinking I'm going to do this. I know this is sometimes effective in helping people deal with anxiety/compulsive thoughts (what, who, me?) of other types, so it makes sense it might help with this. I hadnt considered that this would alleviate some of the pressure for him, though. besides not making me so sick from it all...
Nevanna...yes, I will be gone doing something fun if H starts disappearing on Fridays. I could make arrangements for S to visit grandparents, and be gone for a while. Actually, S and i are going to a town three hours away on MLK day to pick up a skink (lizard) for S...I think H is going hunting, but S and I are going to do this....so, a small step. Your observation that usually these guys are WAAAAYYYY off not wanting anything to do with the LBS helps. I remember distinctly, clearly when I stop to think about it, that H WAS that way....every fiber in his being screamed and echoed his drive to be as far away from me and the kids and home as he could be. He just DID NOT want to be anywhere near any of us at any time, and it was pretty darn clear. Now he actually does seem to be happy to be with us, and home.
Dawn, thanks, I know my train gets off track so easily...I had not thought that dear ow might be playing games w/me or h....i do know she'd delight in it, though. It even occurred to me earlier that she may have come on to H with her "poor me" song to get him to go on the trip with her to get me to kick him out of the house. I even said something to that effect to H, and he said "well don't you think she must be getting discouraged that you don't?" which made me think that maybe that thought was pretty accurate.
I'm working on the GAL still...see above for road trip planned with S next week! I went to a weight loss class last night! left H at home, and went. S was kinda upset...don't know what he thought, but I reassured him it only lasted an hour.
I got an email from H earlier this afternoon, which said in part this:
Quote: I requested going to (out of town office) on Tuesdays and hope that I can, be totally separated from this shithole!!
Now, does that sound like the throes of mlc still, or what. However, I've found that when he is in this kind of mood towards work, it usually means something is up with ow...so maybe that was a part of the parking thing.
I replied that I was glad he'd applied for that, thought he would enjoy it and that it made sense as busy as that office is.... I mentioned that it sounded like he'd been having a rough day, and that if it helped I'd been thinking of him and was looking forward to seeing him, and he responded with "thanks, I'm looking forward to seeing you too"...I'm choosing to take that as a positive.
