I'm sorry you're having a tough time today...I'm gonna throw something out there...something I've been thinking about for you for some time...maybe it will stick?
Here's my proposal...a 180 for you to rock all 180s...what if you decided to STOP monitoring your sitch in regards to h and ow. I mean STOP. I mean stop looking at the position of cars, stop checking timesheets, stop thinking about h's day off, stop thinking about phone calls and e-mails and all of that.
COLD TURKEY.
Deb repeats to herself over and over and over again "I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR H'S FIDELITY OR ACTIONS".
What if you not only dropped the rope but you packed it up and shipped it airmail on a round the world tour?
What if you really and truly just STOPPED?
I know it probably sounds absurd to you...I mean, how could you JUST STOP taking the temperarture of this? How could you JUST STOP monitoring and feeling responsible and all? Wouldn't that lead you straight to heck in a handbasket? Isn't that just assuring that something will start up? continue w/o your watchful eye??
OR, would it mean that you'd have much more energy for yourself?
Would it mean that your h would feel an instant alleviation of pressure -- some of it very much unrelated to his actions and related only to your interpretation of his actions.
Would it mean that all of a sudden your h would be the only person truly responsible for his actions, his control, his fidelity?
What do you think that would look like, Deb? How would it feel?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
