I guess I'll post a weekend update, before I forget the "goings on"...it was actually a pretty good weekend. Friday morning I didnt get home from work until about 10:30...i was almost dreading going home, remembering H's 3-hour trips to "get gas" last summer...I walked in the door, said "hi" to the dog, heard noise upstairs, which I assumed was the cat, patted the dog, and then lo and behold, H came down the stairs...he was home before I was...and H made a big deal about how he'd rushed to be home by 10 and didnt get the video because the couldnt find it for him fast enough in the store and he wanted to get home for me, and then I didnt get home...so could I pick it up for him later? I was shocked that he was already home....tell me if I'm on track here all, or just wishing, but I think he was offering reassurance and that he really made an effort to be home by the time I got there! I apologized for being late, I'd had a report I didnt get finished, and told him I appreciated how hard he tried to get home, that I'd been looking forward to getting home to be with him. We did have "snuggle time, and ML at H's initiation...that evening I worked on the dejunking the basement...ick...but H just looks overwhelmed and clueless about it, so I've been kind of doing most of the work. I heard the phone ring, and heard him talking to his dad (could tell who it was) and heard him say "I can't tomorrow but I could on Sunday". I knew FIL had called about going hunting. S came to the basement and told me his dad had been talking to Papa about hunting, and S said that H had asked if I was going to come sit by the fire. I said "he did?" and S said "yes, it just isnt the same without you" now, S is learning what we like to hear, so I'm not totally sure H said that, but I went up and sat by the Fire. S said his Dad had commented while I was in the basement about how great the chicken was I'd fixed for supper. At Any rate, I am 99.9% sure that H wasnt w/ow on Friday AM, and 100% sure that it wasnt for long if it was at all.
Saturday AM, H was up early as always and got around so quietly I almost didnt wake up...he came into our room fully dressed to leave for "work?", and I told him I would be happy to see him when he got back. I didnt complain about him being gone, although I am always sick at heart that still he goes to see ow and not to "work" as he says. There was more of a foul-up w/delivery of H's long awaited weight equipment, I spent an hour and 1/2 on the phone getting it straightened up. It's interesting, H has been saying he doesnt really need it or care about it, but he was beside himself and upset when it wasnt there. I thought he seemed a little upset anyway when he came in. I wonder if he wasnt having some kind of less than wonderful time w/ow, and it's occurred to me that the weight room set up is something he is viewing as a way to help himself "break away" from ow. I don't know, but I do get that feeling from comments he's made like "since I'll be spending more time lifting weights" Saturday afternoon, H mentioned to me finally that his dad had called about hunting, that he'd told him he could only go on Sunday, but that he wasnt sure he wanted to go then, and wanted to know if his dad had called back. I told him he hadnt, and that seemed to aggravate H, I told him he could go hunting if he wanted, and he reiterated taht he wasnt sure he wanted to. The evening was pleasant, we just had a fire and watched tv, H complained of being tired, but he woke me up to ML at about 1 AM. No performance problems lately. I just can't figure out what makes the difference.
Yesterday was quiet, uneventful. H was pleasant, but still complaining of feeling tired. No ML last night, I would have been in the mood, but didnt want to pressure him so I didnt pursue it.
this morning, H was pleasant but rushed, just regular "work day" stuff. He did email me about 10:30 this morning, I had 2 emails from him but not a lot of conversation.
One weird thing though, H has this little thickened skin place on his forehead, hardly noticable. This weekend, get this, he started putting wart remover on it...I did make a comment about it, and H said he thought it was either a wart or a skin cancer and he wanted to get rid of it, it had been there for ages. I just said "Oh", and didnt say much, although I did say it might be a good idea for him to get it looked at by the Dr. if he thinks it's skin cancer...H said he didnt think it was, he just wants to get rid of it. More MLC/ow preoccupation with appearance? Isnt' that odd to put wart remover on your face?????
Also, I turned over the cell phone bill to H last summer because it was making me nuts...he'd open it and take out the phone log and leave the bill for me to pay, of course it smacked me in the face everytime that the phone log was gone because he'd taken it out so I wouldnt see how much he was calling ow...duh.... well, the cell phone bill is very late. I think he maybe has not paid it in 2 months. I am not saying a word about it. I'm leaving it up to him to take care of it or not. I keep telling myself that he's a big boy and he is as responsible for things as I am and he can deal with whatever happens or doesnt happen as a result of his actions or inactions. Is this the way to go? it's a 180, I've always looked over his shoulder before.
I have to say, to my credit however, I have not said one single word about ow....not one....since our between the holiday blowout.
