Thought I would stop in between snow shovelings...ugh...to see how you were doing. And here I find you needing a smack! LOL Actually, it's your H I would really like to hit, punch, huh, smack. When I read about the "lazy" comment I saw red for a minute. Good for you for not responding in kind. Although I think that every once in a while you should hit him with a "Hey, guess what, I have a lot on my mind today and I am not going to take any of your crap. So spread it somewhere else, would ya." And then don't say another word.
Most of the time validating and listening is key but sometimes you have to put the brakes on their bad moods. You have to remeber the teenage mind...sometimes they need a good dose of reality ("hey, maybe I am not the only one existing in this universe") to get themselves to settle down.
Okay here comes your smack... Deb, hon, you have to change the routine and shake him up. Not coming downstairs to see him off to work does not constitute a "shake up". Sorry if I seem harsh. You need to focus on YOU. No matter what happens, focus on YOU. You will have to force yourself for a while. It does not come easy for routine persons like you and me. But soon you will get the hang of it and it will become second nature.
You have to turn the tables on him. I know you have it in you! (I am thinking specifically of the chili and the lotion.) You have a devious-enough mind. You just need to get it working in the right direction! The chili and the lotion were hilarious but a little passive/aggressive.
Okay for instance, can he recieve an email from you today? If so, email him and tell him that you have made some plans this evening and that you won't be home to fix dinner. Tell him that it's a good thing he won't be there afterall!
IF he does have plans with ow tonight, I guarantee you he will be wondering what you are up to. So, see by doing that you have 1. Got a life and 2. Upset his plans. Two birds with one stone! I know that your son is a factor in your GAL plans but you can do this....you can work this out. Go to a movie with him. Drop him at a friend's house, etc.
Then some evening make plans to have your h watch your son because you are going out alone. Your h's wants and needs should be valued but not more than your own.
Hey, looks like we've gotten a few more inches of snow. I have to go shovel some more. I will try to check back in later. I hope all of this makes sense to you. I am writing as fast as I am thinking here! And I think I know you well enough to know that you won't be mad at me...good thing.
But listen, try your best to start putting that devious mind of yours to work for you. When you start to feel this hopelessness that's when you need to start making plans.
You just need to get it working in the right direction! The chili and the lotion were hilarious but a little passive/aggressive. 