I share your sitch. I found some good comments from others in here. I agree that saying 'the marriage is good in every other way' is probably a lie. I say that to my LDW. But she doesn't agree. I think it is true.
I had a nasty PA about 4 yrs ago. We went to C and things got better. Then there was an incidnet where I ran into the OW and nothing happened, but I did have a conversation (I am really happy with my W and I am where I want to be). W was not very happy about this in any way. So the last 3 yrs have been a struggle.
I would like to say there is a simple approach, but I have yet to find it. In my case, there is the PA and possibly physical issues with my W that reduce her libido. Recently I got hurt, tried to get turned on, but in the end ended up hurt, that she was masterbating and I was thinking - 'hey i am a willing partner, you don't need to go it alone!'
Anyhow. I am in a situation with many facets. I don't know what to do. She says she needs to feel close to me before she can ML. I think if she gives the 'a-bomb' there is a more behind your problem.
I would love to know if this works. We both say we want things and I know she loves me. I need to find out how to move things with out being so impatient. Staying forceful and insistent can backfire.
There are 3 sides to every situation: yours, mine and the truth. Knowing the difference is the key.
