Quote: Also, we have a very good, very positive marriage in every other way.
From Jenny:
Quote: BEWARE. This is almost always a lie you are telling yourself.
Ahh, but the key word there is “almost”. I’ll admit that I may be deluding myself, but I absolutely believe that W and I have a very good, very positive M in every other way. You know my/our story – W has a problem with sex, not a problem with desire, not a problem with intimacy, not a problem with me. She has a problem with sex. I seriously doubt that I’ll ever know if any actual molestation ever took place, but regardless of whether it did or not, something preceding me instilled an extreme aversion to sex into her.
I strongly suspect that in an overwhelming percentage of cases, sexual problems in a M are just a reflection of other problems. But there are cases where the sex problems are nothing but sex problems, I suppose that you could make a case for W’s unwillingness and/or inability to discuss the cause of her distaste for sex as being another problem in the M, but I don’t think so. As of yesterday, we’ve been married for 29 years. I’ve known her for a long time. We’ve talked about this until we’re blue in the face – both privately and with a couple of C’s. One can never assume to speak for someone else, but based upon what I know, what I’ve heard, and what I’ve observed, I really don’t think W knows the source of the problem. Whatever it is, it’s either so far back that she doesn’t remember it on a conscious level, or it’s something so horrible that she’s blocked it out.
