I'm new to the board, and have a ton of questions abt my situation. I see that I'm not alone in my issue: my wife of 11 years has never wanted to ML as much as me, and I long ago stopped initiating because of this (even before we had kids). We got to the point of ML maybe twice a month, but I had a revelation that if this deteriorated any more we would be in jeopardy of drifting apart/D. We have been having a lot of discussions (my idea) and more ML sessions but the quality isn't there. Before this, we had ended up in the situation of IF she was horny, it was great (this is usually once a month or less), otherwise she's not really turned on, I can tell, and it bugs me. She has never been very creative or experimental sexually, doesn't want to discuss what turns her on (embarassed). She jokes about me having to "follow her around like a female bear" until she's ready. What do I do? Is there anything I can do, or just trade frequency for quality? As for me, I am always up for it, and have bought vibes/lubes over the years for her (I use them regularly as a warmup along with massages and what ever techniques I can think of). I guess I'm just frustrated that there's nothing I can do to get in sync, plus it's making me think I don't turn her on anymore. I work out and run so that's not it, if I was overweight with ED it would be more understandable. She is 39 and I am 40, maybe hormones and 2 kids are making this worse but I sure would like to have a satifying love life. Help!
