Yes, I do recognize this as abuse, and I do know about the cycle, that's why I'm so reluctant to start the whole 'pressure' thing again. I've been spending time as well on a BB for woman in abusive sitch. At least there I can look around and say, hey, at least I don't have to deal with 'that'! once in a while.
Lillie, Lou,
I wonder about the wisdom of using analogies with H. I could try...and it might work, might not.
Thing is, if this is an abusive situation, joint C is not necessarily wise - could even make things worse. I could see H coming along, telling his story, I could have seen at the first C I saw, that H could have made it look like I was the one causing the problems. Not that I don't think I have some part in it, but I could see him making it look like he was the good guy, and then using the Cs words at home against me.
I suspect that the dynamics of abusive Rs are not well known here (in Finland). As I said, it's only been since the beginning of this year that it's possible to get a RO against someone living in the same household, hoping that that might help with the dramatic no. of DV cases. (there was a recent study that put Finland towards the bottom of the list in DV cases in Europe, but the truth is, most people here suffer in silence untill the woman end up in the hospital or worse).
I don't expect that H will get violent. I also don't expect that he will step up to the plate, but who knows, I could be wrong.
