JJ, Lillie, I don't have the support system here I would in the States with family near by, I do have a few friends who know what's going on, BIL has offered help (though I don't know to what extent), I am seeing a C, and have spoken to a lawyer, but yeah, it does sometimes feel like I'm on my own.
And JJ, I've thought the same thing about my MIL - I dont' want to end up like her.
Lillie, I wonder though about being there vs here. I've thought about this a lot lately, whether I'd want to go back at some point, and I have to say, I'm still up in the air. There's lots of reasons for staying here, especially with young kids. Going back at this point would probably be a big culture shock for me as well. There are things I miss, though...
Mrs N. Thanks for the line. I'll have to remember that (in my own words) next time, and I'm pretty sure there will be one.
Had a revelation this morning about anger. I got angry 'cause H convinced me to get up and make him breakfast (after I had just fallen back asleep after getting the girls off. Realized that in reality, I was not angry at H, but at ME for giving in. Made the anger easier to deal with actually, I was pretty easy on myself.
I have to wonder, I feel like I live a double life - Most people who know me would consider me strong, outspoken, opinionated, but I know the 'fraid little girl was there before H came a long - there was a part of me that was very willing to let someone else make all the decisions.
NOP -
It really is nice to know there's a big strong father figure out there looking out for me! (or two - I'm sure my own Dad would be first in line). Actually, FIL has mellowed, and I've even noticed a semblance of respect in his eyes for me. I don't think he knew at all how to deal with an outspoked American woman, but, though we still don't understand each other, after the kids, and after we moved here, and he's seen what I've done with the yard (he grew up on a farm), he does treat me a lot differently.
