Quote: H again the other morning reached over for a hug - and I sort of lost it, not really loud, but I did say 'Why is it that you are able to ask for a hug when you want, but ignore me when i say I'm unhappy, or need to talk to you about the kids, or I want a kiss' He just got mad, understandably, and got out of bed.
Just a quick thought. Discount at will.
You didn't do anything wrong. You just can't pretend that all is well in Finland.
I wouldn't get into a tit-for-tat sort of response. Especially since that seems to be something he has done to you in the past.
I think the big picture needs to be the focus. So, when he rolls over for a hug, rather than giving a list of things he has failed to do, I wonder if something like "I am not willing to hug you while the devastation of our marriage is ignored or minimized." That's kind of stilted, but do you see what I mean? Getting caught up in the detail can make it easy to miss the forest for the trees. The problem is the relationship. The list of failings is a result of that relationship.
