I am struggling with myself. H again the other morning reached over for a hug - and I sort of lost it, not really loud, but I did say 'Why is it that you are able to ask for a hug when you want, but ignore me when i say I'm unhappy, or need to talk to you about the kids, or I want a kiss' He just got mad, understandably, and got out of bed.
After HOM big time through Christmas to keep things calm, I'm getting fed up with myself sitting here. Ok, I have seen a C, and I've spoken with a lawyer, but I'm not really any closer to having any kind of plan than I was several weeks ago. I've talked to people, know what I can and can't do if things get messy - but then I just sit here.
As I'm back at work, there's not too much time that H and I are in the house at the same time. So it's all too easy to just let my M slowly rot...
H is obviously not any more comfortable with things as they are than am I, but I can't help but wonder if what we want are two completely different things. I guess I just have to do SOMETHING.
Lilie,
I don't really want to involve in-laws. FIL is very similar to H, + alcohol. MIL shows the effects of having to live with that for 40+ yrs.
We spend 3 mos living on in-laws floor in process of moving to where we are now - one night I had to take the girls and drive the hr. to our apt (which we thank goodness still had at that point) when FIL came after me (didn't hit me, but close. I was 3 mos pg w/twins at the time) after I sort of spoke up to him when he started yelling at my girls (then 3 + 1.5yrs) because they weren't eating their dinner - and I was sitting right there as well. Not eager to 'rock the boat' with him either.
