Yes, I am going to come out of this stronger, wiser. It bothers me a little that very very often woman in abusive Rs get out, only to get into another, sometimes even worse sitch. One other statistic I've learned, the majority of people in this kind of R (on the receiving end of the abuse) have above average verbal negotiating skills.
Makes sense. All that time spent trying to communicate with a S who isn't interested in hearing what you say, all the time spent making 'excuses'... I even remember H saying once that I should be in sales, since I always managed to make everything sound so good.
As I'm just sitting back right now, I've noticed all the little ways I've always jumped in and tried to 'fix' things, making sure H was happy, to keep the peace. Not to mention run myself ragged doing all this, so that I end up tired and grumpy.
I keep wondering if these skills would have made a difference if I had started using them 15 yrs ago...probably not too much. Or then things would have come to a head sooner, maybe I would have had the strength to get out sooner. Whatever, I can't look back.
GEL, did you get your snow? it's blowing and spitting snow right now, but just at the freezing point...so we're all holding our breath that it stays around at least for the weekend. It really is amazing what a difference the snow makes at this time of year, the few hrs of daylight we have are much brighter!
