Looking backward...but only to move forward TWO

[sage]

Just a quick one since I'm mired in work! I hope things settle down here soon!

So, picked h up for the "surprise date". We drove into town and found a parking space near the restaurant. then I told him that the surprise was that we were going to a wine tasting at the restaurant. His reaction was less than stellar . He asked a couple of questions in a way that was pretty clear he wasn't enthused ("It's not going to be a big group thing, is it?" etc). I told him that I didn't know what it would be like since I had never been to one. We were super early so we sat in the car for a LONG time...I was pretty quiet and trying to gauge my hurt -- was I overreacting? could I just not personalize? I acted "as if" as best I could (though I wanted to kick his sorry butt out of the car).

We went in to the restaurant and had to wait about 15 minutes. We had a glass of wine (which h said he didn't like --). He asked which wines we would be tasting and I told him Barolo and Barbaresco (both are big favorites of his). Perhaps that took the wind out of his "I'm a big party pooper" sails!

The tasting was great. We sat at a long table and each got 4 good sized pours of wine. The sommelier talked about each, showed us how to taste it, etc. they served really good french bread and then brought out 4 different appetizers, each matched with a particular wine. the food was terrific. Our neighbors on my left were friendly and fun. All in all it was really great.

As we were leaving h said what a great time he had had and that he wanted to go to another one. I said "you know, you were pretty unethusiastic when I told you what we were doing" and he said "yah, I know. I thought it would be all snooty. But please don't let my reaction dissuade you from planning stuff like this in the future! I like it when you get me to try new things."

Um, ok. That sounds great on paper but I have to say that the 45 minutes I had to sit with his initial reaction was unpleasant. It was a good test of my "non-personalization" and it was also a good reminder to me that there have been times when I reacted negatively to something that h had planned. I think I'll hold off on the surprise dates for a while...or if I do plan one, it'll be less "adventurous".

Sage