Looking backward...but only to move forward TWO

[sage]

I cannot tell him I want to talk about something in a few days cuz he will immediately want to talk now and get it over with.

So, that's cool...I use the "in a few days" thing because h has told me before that he feels blindsided when I start a conversation on a topic that I have been stewing on...

Being direct and concise is hard for me still. He finally gets out of me what I really want and says, "why didn't you just say that"? Geez, cuz I just don't know how--I realize I don't trust his response. Something might come out that I will take personal when I shouldn't.

WELL...you can't control his responses...only yours. You may find that his responses are more positive IF you are able to be more clear or concise...did you ever have a conversation with someone who was just beating around the bush? VERY frustrating!

I realize now that there have been a lot things I assumed and obsessed about that he hadn't ever thought about. I've just always believed that any change in his behaviour was something to do with me. This is a really tough thing to let go of but I work on it every day.

Good for you for working on this! I can totally relate!

Sage