Just wondering, you clearly feel that the journey is a continuous one for you - are there any milestones you are shooting for?
That's an interesting question...otoh, I DO feel like DB'ing is a "forever more" journey for me -- the 180s, looking at things as part of a cycle between me and h, the journalling, etc...so still being here and "working" feels right. otOh, I haven't put goals (or milestones) down in quite some time...so maybe I'm not focusing on DB'ing as much as I think I am --
I guess I'd say I have 2 milestones and one general "overlay". the milestones are still too high level -- would like to feel more comfortable/happier with our frequency and would like to feel more at ease about bringing "stuff" up to h. I think I posted earlier this week about having some success with the latter -- and it was really an implementation of what I knew to be true -- bring up the subject briefly in ADVANCE, pick my time wisely (not too early or too late), let h bring it up the second time, keep the conversation fairly short, etc. I guess what bothered me was that I stewed for months (literally) about how to bring the topic up -- my fault clearly but still a bummer.
The overlay is about feeling "healed" or "out of the woods" or "comfortable in my own skin" or whatever -- sometimes I totally feel it and sometimes I just don't. Maybe that's fine for now -- maybe even forever. No, actually, not forever...I still feel down too often to have this be a long term sustainable feeling. The good news? Well, it's clearly w/in my control...just not quite there yet.
I have in my Palm Pilot a note every six months to reread DR. It fell earlier this month when I was in the midst of a lot of school stuff so I pushed it out a bit. Sometime in the next few weeks I think I need to take a gander at it. Probably mainly as a reminder that we've come a long way but maybe also a reminder that I can break stuff down into manageable chunks and have an impact.
I guess I should clarify that I'm delighted and happy and wonderous and grateful about where my M is now...no way am I minimizing that...I just still (happily and consciously) consider myself a work in progress!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
frequency and would like to feel more at ease about bringing "stuff" up to h. I think I posted earlier this week about having some success with the latter -- and it was really an implementation of what I knew to be true -- bring up the subject briefly in ADVANCE, pick my time wisely (not too early or too late), let h bring it up the second time, keep the conversation fairly short, etc. I guess what bothered me was that I stewed for months (literally) about how to bring the topic up -- my fault clearly but still a bummer.
