Looking backward...but only to move forward TWO

[sage]

Hi guys -- Thanks so much for the kind words!

confounded -- I've got a lot of hope for you and your sitch. I hope that you can come to a place where you feel positive, too.

unsure and LnL -- It's good to know that my "venting" or "struggling" (and posting about it!) helps...I think I've mentioned before that I sometimes fear bringing others down.

*********
Met h in town after school. It was amazingly warm! We walked over to a really nice bar and had some cocktails and a great chat. We had planned to go eat after but the waiter disappeared and by the time we left, it seemed to late for food -- I guess I'm on the Martini diet! (it was only one drink, I swear!)

I'm off the boards in a few...to a company meeting then acupuncture then home. I'll check in over the weekend.

Sage

[sage]

Sunday afternoon -- half time -- h is at a friend's house to watch the game -- he just called me! A wonderfully unnecessary (but completely appreciated from head to toe) gesture by him! I told him "I feel like I just got a warm hug from you!" He seems to know just the right thing to do.

Had a great day today -- went to the gym in the AM and then met up with Heart2heart who is visiting Boston! She's just as gorgeous, smart, savvy, chic, funny and awesome as you just GET from her thread! It was great to meet a fellow DB'er over some korean/thai food and finally put a face to all the words of wisdom and support I've received from her!

Went shopping on the way home -- got a bunch of bath stuff from Bath and Body Works, some cute sox, shoes and a sweater from Marshalls. I had planned to do some cleaning when I got home but found that h had beaten me to the punch...so now I'm gearing up to pay bills.

The rest of the weekend has been good -- had a lowkey night friday -- chinese food then hanging around here so h could work on his paper. Yesterday, had lunch with my dad, his family, and my sis and her family -- it was great, the food was great and it was fun to catch up with everyone. Last night went out for mexican food and a terrible, terrible comedy show with another couple. Ah, well, the company was good!

I'm off to watch the rest of the game with a girly mask on my face and a manicure on tap!

Sage

[maya]

It is great that you and H2H got together. Hope she got some SAGE advice... and she probably gave some, too!


I love reading your thread.. it does give hope.

maya

[sage]

Maya -- Thanks for the visit! It was great meeting H2H! Not sure I doled out anything too sage but I loved getting H2H's advice and feedback! Thanks for saying my thread gives hope -- looks like things are moving forward in your sitch, huh?

***************
Hooray for the Patriots! h came home after visiting with his friend and we watched a bit of TV, hung around some and then went to bed. It was nice to hang out -- he said that he felt like we hadn't really spent much time together over the weekend (and said he was sorry about that). I have to admit that I feel enormously clingy right now -- would like to wrap him in my arms and just hang out together ...well, with him whispering reassurances in my ear... NOT the greatest timing for my "bottomless pit" meltdown because he is super busy at school -- despite my feelings, I haven't acted on them or, I hope, communicated them to h...I just FEEL clingy, I don't think I've BEEN clingy.

Sage

[sage]

My night was relaxing last night...poor h's was not -- he was still in the throes of working on a big paper -- due today -- I'm amazed at how dedicated he is and how hard he works! He, OTOH, told me that he was irked at himself for not having done more, sooner. OK, I can relate to that.

I got home from work and we dashed out to my father's to pick up some books that h needed for his paper. We got some takeout burritos...had a quick dinner at home...then h went to the computer while I watched TV and read. I am definitely enjoying this school break!

It was good to have some quiet time...I feel like there's been a lot of "noise" in my head lately (self-generated, obviously) and I feel like I'm coming out of that fog a bit.

Thank goodness!

We got up early this am (despite the fact that it was 6 degrees Farenheit! egads!) and went to the gym. Definitely starts the day off right!

Sage

[minnie1]

Hi Sage,

We got up early this am (despite the fact that it was 6 degrees Farenheit! egads!) and went to the gym. Definitely starts the day off right!

I was just thinking about this a few days ago; I was wondering how you can get up at the crack of dawn, in freezing weather and go to the gym! You two ARE troopers!!

I feel like there's been a lot of "noise" in my head lately

Ah, join the club! Thank you so much for your support on my thread.....

Hope you have a good evening.
Minnie

[sage]

A busy couple of days at work so not much time to post!

Things are going well..h handed in his big paper on Tuesday so that was a big relief to him. School is definitely in major "ramp up mode" for him, though...he's got a ton of homework. He also has a couple of interviews this week for summer positions. The first one (this AM) went well apparently and he's got a big one tomorrow.

School starts for me again next week -- OTOH, BLECH, OTOH, hey, it's my last semester! THAT can only be a good thing! I've really enjoyed my break.

I'm feeling more relaxed at home in the last few days...pleased about that. One thing I've noticed is that I really have a hard time if I'm not sure "what" to do if h is distracted, super busy, whatever. to the point, it really helps if he's clear about what he needs...a few days ago he really had to stay at school late to work on the paper instead of meeting up with me...it was SO easy to just say "yes, sure, absolutely no problem" because he was so clear about what he needed.

It's a good lesson for me, actually, because often I am SO NOT CLEAR about what I need...I wonder if that's as confusing/distressing as it is for me. I'll be it is.

Gotta run -- meeting!

Sage

[kml]

Hey Sage!
Glad you got to meet H2H - more fabulous DBers, eh?

One thing I've noticed is that I really have a hard time if I'm not sure "what" to do if h is distracted, super busy, whatever.

I hear you on this one. My H has gotten himself into a "work hole" again (taking on too many projects, then being overwhelmed) and I find it SO difficult not to react. His anxiety makes me anxious, his distance makes me paranoid about the state of his depression, and if I'm not really careful, HIS moodiness causes MY normally very-even-keeled mood to sink.

Of course I know this is all wrong, and what I really need to do is let MY good mood pull HIS mood up. So I pull out playful and flirty and humorous me, and he usually will respond (even if it takes a couple of days). I just wish I didn't have to worry about his moods!!!!
Ellie

[sage]

Ellie --

Of course I know this is all wrong, and what I really need to do is let MY good mood pull HIS mood up. So I pull out playful and flirty and humorous me, and he usually will respond (even if it takes a couple of days). I just wish I didn't have to worry about his moods!!!!
Ellie

Yah...keeping on an even or positive keel myself is a good thing...sometimes I get concerned, though, that if I'm too peppy/optimistic that it feels like pressure to h...you know, like "hey, I'm peppy, why aren't you?" but that's probably because I arrive laden with expectations!

****************
h had a late class last night so I met him around 8. I had a chance to go home first and do yoga, which was great and offset the fact that we hadn't gone to the gym yesterday AM! We had drinks and appetizers at our favorite place...it was very good, and the company was awesome

h's day is jam packed today -- a birthday lunch with his mom, an interview, 4 hours of work for the law review plus homework!

My day looks good...not too many meetings but I have tons of work. I've got an acupuncture appt. after work so I'll catch up with h sometime after that.

Sage

[sage]

Wow -- I didn't post all weekend? I must have dreamt I did!

Friday night was lowkey -- takeout thai food I think. Saturday I had lots of errands to do while h did homework. We were supposed to go see a movie Saturday night but a blizzard was predicted so we decided to stay in. We watched "Lost Horizons" which was very enjoyable.

Yup, that was a blizzard alright! Woke up Sunday to gusty winds and 2 feet of snow! We spent the day shoveling , doing homework and watching our Pats kick some butt! Onto the Superbowl!

Lots of good moments with h...hanging out, lots of QT and WOA -- getting those LLs met!

I'm heading home in a few...I think we're going to a movie.

The week is going to be busy. I've got a big project due Monday for work and school starts Friday! I will be counting the weeks until it's over!!!

Sage