I am sorry, but I did not totally follow your previous thread only partially, so I was wondering what your goals are for doing the looking back? Hope you don't mind my asking.
Of course I don't mind you asking! (I was gonna insert a statement in here about being DISMAYED! that you haven't followed every freakin' word of my last thread with rigor but figured you might not see it as a joke!! )
Here's what my stated goals were: One of the things I'd been planning to do for a while was compile the "stuff that worked" from my threads. Why? Well, partly because I feel like I did have good success and want to remember what the keys were...and partly because I sometimes get amazed when I find myself stuck in the "same old" sitch again and partly because I'm often awestruck when I realize the tremendous advice I have received from so many people here...
It's been an interesting read, Pam. First of all, it's been a way to visit with old friends. It's funny to see when people first showed up on my threads -- some of them long gone now. Secondly, it's helped me to remember that I did work quite hard at DB'ing. There are times when I feel like it's all been "a fluke" and while I realize that there are many people on the boards who have DB'd to the nth degree w/o reconciling their M's, it's been comforting to see that I did "get it" and "use it" and reap benefits from it. Reminding myself of the techniques I used to identify 180s, etc, has been very helpful. And, then, it's also been good to see the places that I STILL get stuck and the cycles that I go 'round and 'round in at times. Helps me identify some areas to strengthen, you know? And, finally, I wanted a concise way to be able to go back and see "what worked" and the themes are consistent from the very beginning -- time spent together, managing my own "stuff", no expectations or ASSumptions, appreciating, etc. Heck, it's the stuff in my signature!!!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
that you haven't followed every freakin' word of my last thread with rigor but figured you might not see it as a joke!! 
)
It's funny to see when people first showed up on my threads -- some of them long gone now. Secondly, it's helped me to remember that I did work quite hard at DB'ing. There are times when I feel like it's all been "a fluke" and while I realize that there are many people on the boards who have DB'd to the nth degree w/o reconciling their M's, it's been comforting to see that I did "get it" and "use it" and reap benefits from it. Reminding myself of the techniques I used to identify 180s, etc, has been very helpful. And, then, it's also been good to see the places that I STILL get stuck and the cycles that I go 'round and 'round in at times. Helps me identify some areas to strengthen, you know? And, finally, I wanted a concise way to be able to go back and see "what worked" and the themes are consistent from the very beginning -- time spent together, managing my own "stuff", no expectations or ASSumptions, appreciating, etc. Heck, it's the stuff in my signature!!!
