Gremlin wrote {{I'd love to just print out everything here, or e-mail it to the counselor, and say "read this}}
Gremlin, All I can say "me too". My W accused me of visiting porn sites and I said DB.com was a forum related to the books that deal with troubled relationships. W did not like me reading "Boundaries In Marriage" last night. So many times actions or words are missinterpreted.
Although I do not have all of the problems you describe in your R, I have many of them to a lesser degree. W says some outragious things then is pleasant a day or two later. I have to stop her sometimes and it has done some good when I stop her attacks. I have been woring on the boundaries thing for about a year. Our boundry issues have improved but there are still flare ups.
It is better to Stand up for yourself if your W crosses the line than to keep the peace. Have boundaries and enforce them consistantly. If she gets angry, that is her problem, not yours. Most women say they want a man that understands how they feel. From what I have read add to that if you are a wimp you can have all of the feeling in the world, you are still a wimp. Spouses would rather have someone that stands up for what is right ot fair in a relationship.
Extreme example. If I had an OW and she left her H and kids for me, I would not respect her, no matter how much she confessed love for me. It just is not right to leave your kids. Just as it was not the correct thing for your W to have with held the information about the STD she had from you.
Gremlin, Keep posting. Your situation will not be solves soon. Buckle up and hang on.
Gremlin, FWIW I am male, Married in 1968. Crap started in 1981. Up/down since. Had enough Jan 04. Still at home.
OG Lou. Learning through insights that others have.
