Reading my posts, I sure make her sound pretty terrible. It's not the case though - I'm a pretty smart guy, and wouldn't put up with all the sh!t if the rest of our life together wasn't worth it. She is a good person, but this problem has driven both of us crazy, IMO.
My reaction is always the same when we fight or she is complaining about something - a silent stare. I know it's something that stems from my childhood, and was reinforced by my time in the Navy. We've even joked about it unless she screams about something, I won't react, unless it's a put-upon sigh or turning around and blaming her for the problem to start with.
I've tried to talk to her about the problems, and tell her how much it bothers me. The pattern's always the same: - I complain about SL - She acknowledges problem, but does not propose work on it or a solution - I get frustrated/angry and either rage silently or (occassionally) explode verbally - She says she doesn't want to solve problem, leave me alone, etc., occassionally escalating into "I don't want to be married to you", leave, I would leave if I could, etc. - After 3-4 days, things cool off and we're back to being friends again - Rinse/Repeat
