It is when I read the newsletter from the club and read about them, when I have to see or deal with him, seeing her at our house. And eventually seeing them at dog shows. My C says we are going to get me to the point where that doesn't bother me. She didn't say HOW we are going to do that.
My guess is to just keep building my own life up till that pain isn't the central focus anymore, even when I see them!
Ah, see? YOU know the road there
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I can so identify with you, both of us having Hs off with OW who were our friends, who live in the same circles. They are 'shamelessly' out there for all the world to see, we are the ones who have to avoid bumping into our former spouses with our former 'friend's. We will get there, but it is a long process.
We will get there by detaching and building our own lives, I hope. If H and OW 1 stay together for much longer, I will begin to feel pity for them, I already do. I know those two well. They are NOT long term together material. But it makes me sad to think that he should waste his time on that path, when he could be repairing our family and our daughter's life. If he is not up to it, them I really am much better off without him. If he is such a wimp, then I don't need him!
Pam let me ask you, in the dog world, what are your relative positions? Would you enter a competitive class together?
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Quote: They are 'shamelessly' out there for all the world to see, we are the ones who have to avoid bumping into our former spouses with our former 'friend's. We will get there, but it is a long process.
I really doubt in the long term that J and D will be happy together and I feel sad for D because I feel he has so totally lost his sense of self and even his joy in his job or life in the long term.
But D is a big wimp!!!!!!!!!! That much I do know and I don't think he will find the courage to straighten his life out, but for his sake I hope he does some day.
Oh yes OW and I have competed against each other before and are likely to again if I get back into the hobby.
It has usually happened that we don't have a dog at the same level at the same time, but I HAVE beaten her before when we did!!!
She is however much more competitive oriented than I am and will drill her dogs harder. Mine are my pets first and then we compete because it gives us something to do together. I don't mean I don't like to do well. I DO! But not to the drilling extent that J does.
But when we show my dogs have lots more spirit and appear to be having fun and hers is going through a routine, lots of times with their tails tucked.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
D has never shown a dog. The husky I saw him training on the videos the other night he was working to get ready to show and he entered her in some fun matches. Not real judges and no points on the dog. She ended up in the last one he had her in apparently running circles around the ring!! Embarrassed D so bad he never tried to do anything else with her and at this point in time I don't think he will ever try again to show a dog.
He wasn't even sure he would try to show Frostbyte when I gave him to him, he was just going to train him.
It would surprise me greatly for him to show a dog. What he did when I met him was go to the club, hold people's extra dogs, call commands for people doing a run thru and critique them if they wanted, and just sit by J and visit with people. He has assisted with teaching classes but at the time I met him he wasn't. He may be doing so now as I see J is teaching some classes again.
As far as I am aware his current participation in the dog scene is to be J's pack mule. She shows and he hauls her Cr*p in and out for her.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Merry Christmas to you Pam...I'm so glad to hear things are feeling a little better for you and the "kids"....Know that I'm thinking of you! I sure appreciate your help and input!
I'm afraid I did a lazy day today! I took a nap and I should have shoveled my car out! Now it is going to get into the single digits cold and I really won't want to shovel the car out.
Two of my neighbors were out shoveling today and shoveled me a path to my front door! That was so nice of them!!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
That much I do know and I don't think he will find the courage to straighten his life out, but for his sake I hope he does some day.
