Life, One Chapter at a Time

[psluke]

Well, I definitely believe I am depressed. Seems all I do is sleep or want to sleep. I kept thinking I was trying to catch up on rest because of having been under so much stress for so long. But a thought I have and have never understood, even brought it up to my first C and she never really had any thoughts on it, but it doesn't seem to be triggered by doing or necessarily thinking anything that I can identify. I just suddenly have the thought go through my head that I want to go home. I may even BE at home when I have it. I shared that with D way back before we were even in counseling and he said he thought that sometimes also.

I wonder if it isn't an actual physical place I want to be, but more back to a time when my life had less responsibility and stress in it. That is the only answer I have came up with so far.

I KNOW in a logical thinking way that things are not too bad in my life. I obviously have no idea yet if I am going to end up in jail or what over the J thing and it certainly didn't help any to have D say Monday that he hopes I end up in jail. So that mess is there and then there is PK that needs something done with it.

Even when I was on the 100 mg of Zoloft it didn't prevent me from having these feelings so I don't know if going back on a higher dose than I am on now would do any good or not. Right now I am on 50 mg every other day, which was the last step before actually stop taking it.