Mostly I suppose it is despair and sadness that our marriage and friendship is over. It makes me feel like my future is very empty and lonely. I know I have friends but that isn't the same as a close, loving and caring relationship like I thought D and I had.
I see it sounded like I was labeling him all bad, but what I meant to indicate was how well he hides the other side of himself, not that this isn't a real part of him, I would suppose it is. Aren't all of our masks a part of ourselves? But just the fact that you would NEVER know the other side is there to meet the man and talk with him.
No, I think what I am questioning is did he ever love me? Was it all an empty substitution? Did he feel J was lost to him after she dumped him and he settled for me? I have no idea how close her dumping him was to my coming into the picture. Was he on the rebound so to speak? Did I ever mean anything to him????
Those are the thoughts.
I can't see a chance of ever making a wrong choice again as I am too old to start over. My life now is the shelties and I.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
