After my friend from the bb told me a few weeks ago that my path only gets brighter, more steady and straighter that stayed in my mind and reminded me of a book I read years ago, that the obvious path after climbing so far up kept petering out and eventually one was found in a totally different direction.
So posting some things that I have been just reading for thoughts on me and my path lately. Plus a couple of things from several threads ago that had stayed with me but were starting to become fuzzy in my memory.
Dark Horse by John Fischer
Author and musician John Fischer's haunting tale shows what can happen when you dare to break out of complacency, discover the challenge of taking difficult risks, and find freedom of spirit like you've never known before.
This brief allegory traces the journey of a show horse that decides to leave its comfortable, conformist existence in favor of freedom on the wild plains. Where once he had striven to deceive others into believing that he was all white the coat color most prized by horse lovers the stallion comes to recognize his own natural beauty.
In this multi-layered story, white horses are pampered, celebrated, and trained to pose in ways that hide any of their darker markings. The herd is consumed with appearances and addicted to a comfortable lifestyle of food, shelter, and praise.
When one white horse bravely risks all he's ever known to follow a dark horse who promises adventure, he begins a journey that will lead to unparalleled freedom. The journey, however, will not be easy.
Dark Horse explores what it means to live in authentic faith and break out of complacency. It calls readers to ponder the meaning of leadership and the importance of discarding the masks we wear to hide our imperfections.
Racing into the darkness, we had only the stars for light . . . driving us across plains we had never run, towards mountains we had never seen.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
It is important to remain detached and to not get caught up in the drama that is unfolding all around you. The moment you engage with chaos, you get sucked into it. The moment you polarize to something you observe, you get locked into that to which you polarize.
It is so important to remember -- especially at times of great dramatic impact -- that your safety lies within, that no solution that matters in the long run of things will be found outside of yourself. Your answers lie within. Even if you are not hearing "voices" or words, you do know -- in each and every moment -- what is true for you.
If unpleasant feelings arise, allow them to flow through you. Do not block them or repress them. That does not mean you have to act on them. Just allow them to flow through you.
Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, just close your eyes and focus on your breath. Disconnect from what "hooked" you and got you caught up in the drama. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Deliberately take slow, deep breaths until you have regained a sense of your own self and are calm, grounded, and centered. Then very slowly open your eyes again and let yourself remain calm, grounded, and centered.
Allow yourself to witness what is going on around you without getting caught up in it. If you find yourself getting "hooked" again, repeat the exercise. You may have to do this several times but do it.
You always have three choices: to do something, to not do something, or to wait for clarity before acting. Wait for clarity. There is very little in life that can't wait. It is important to attain clarity before acting. Deepening your breathing is telling yourself that you are choosing calm over chaos. It is like a message to your body, "calm down."
There is nothing you can't handle if you remain rooted in the moment. A moment is a unit of experience. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. You can feel when something begins to rise in energy in your life. It presents, then it swells to a climax, and then it recedes and resolves. That is a moment -- from the time it arrives into your life until it recedes and resolves.
Even when you are in the midst of a challenging time, you can remain rooted in the moment and thus move through it with Grace. Think of a tree with a stream flowing around it. The tree remains in place when it is rooted and grounded.
Keep your inner ear turned on and listening at all times. If you feel overwhelmed by the speed of everything, just let it flow. Become still in the midst of the movement that is going on all around you. Let it flow. Breathe. Center. Ground.
Bring calm to yourself as a choice.
Choose calm. Choose peace. Choose serenity
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Eight Steps to Helping Yourself Have a Happier Life
Research into genetics can make it feel as if our personality and mood are preordained. But you can do much to strengthen your mental health. Attitudes and thoughts can control biologically induced anxiety. Environment can mitigate mood problems. Relaxation techniques can keep anxiety symptoms to tolerable levels.
Here are eight steps to helping yourself have a happier life:
REDUCE STRESS. Prolonged stress increases the blood level of cortisol in your brain, affecting parts of it that control anxiety levels. People with genetic predispositions for anxiety or depression are especially vulnerable to the impact of stress.
Anxiety tends to make you take shallow breaths that spark rapid heartbeats. Combat that by breathing slowly and deeply from your belly, in through your nose and out through your lips. Visualize images of calm places. Or preoccupy yourself with a mental game such as counting backward from 100 by threes. Help your muscles relax by first tensing and then releasing them. When a thought gets stuck in your mind, imagine a giant broom sweeping it away.
Broaden your horizons. Hobbies give people a way of defining themselves free of peer opinion. Praying has been shown to lower blood pressure and heart and breathing rates much as relaxation techniques do. Faith can provide hope in the future and, through attendance at services, a strong social support.
A feeling of community has been shown to be one of the best buffers against mental-health disorders. People who can name several intimate friends are healthier, happier, and likely to live longer. Friends are good sounding boards to test out perceptions and suggest alternative ways of behaving or seeing the world.
If you tend toward worry or impulsivity, try to pair yourself with people who complement your temperament rather than mirror it. Spend less time with friends who have what experts call "toxic personalities," who make you feel bad about yourself or encourage unhealthy behavior. Anxious people do better with optimistic, even-keeled mates.
SLEEP RIGHT. The human body is biologically designed to sleep eight or nine hours a day. Sleep is when the body repairs its immune system and the mind makes sense of the day's events. Too little sleep leaves people achy, irritable, and more prone to infection, depression, and anxiety disorders. It can also spark manias.
Set regular times for going to bed and waking up to promote predictable circadian rhythms. Avoid red-eye flights followed by early-morning meetings. It takes the body six hours to rid itself of caffeine found in chocolate, coffee, and soft drinks. Many people use a "nightcap" to induce drowsiness. Although alcohol initially sedates, it has a middle-of-the-night chemical rebound that wakes up the body. Granny's cure of a glass of warm milk is better; milk contains tryptophan, which induces sleepiness.
Drink six to eight cups of water a day to hydrate your body and eliminate insomnia-causing toxins.
ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE. Negative thoughts are self-defeating and seem to promote anxious physiology within the brain. Research has shown that "reframing" your expectations and practicing coping strategies will rewire the brain. It gives the thinking prefrontal lobe the power to override instinctive fight-or-flight alarms in the brain's more primitive regions.
Try to eliminate black-or-white perfectionism, overgeneralizing with words like "always" or "never," magnifying a mistake or flaw, and assuming the worst. Hyper self-consciousness is self-defeating and unrealistic.
In his book Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, psychiatrist Daniel Amen gently pushes an "18/40/60 rule": When you're 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you. When you're 40 you don't care. When you're 60 you recognize that nobody's been thinking about you at all. They're worrying about themselves.
Think in shades of gray. When something doesn't go as well as you wanted, look for positives. That allows you a partial success rather than a complete failure.
Challenge your interpretation of a person's reaction. Is there evidence supporting what you feel? Are there other possibilities? Look for factors beyond your control that contributed to a disappointment.
Learn to do what psychiatrist David Burns calls a "cost-benefit analysis" in his book The Feeling Good Handbook. Do your feelings help or hinder you? If they cause worry or prevent you from doing something you really want to do, it's worth trying to change them.
Personality studies reveal four traits that promote mental health: high self-esteem, a feeling of being in control, optimism, and extroversion. Outgoing people tend to make more friends, claim better jobs, and marry earlier, things that promote well-being.
LISTEN TO MUSIC. A study of children with attention deficit disorder found that Mozart calmed theta brain-wave activity, helping them to focus and control their impulsivity. Because processing music involves the same regions of the brain as doing math, listening to classical music seems to strengthen higher-level brain functioning.
This "Mozart effect" then would not only enhance our ability to perform mental sequencing required for math problems but should also raise our conscious control over subconscious anxiety triggers. Music just seems to soothe.
ENJOY SCENTS. Aromatherapy has basis in fact. Smells are processed through the deep limbic system, affecting the hypothalamus (which affects sleep and stress responses). In a study in the British medical journal the Lancet, the scent of lavender oil lowered stress and promoted sleep. The scent of chamomile also seems calming.
SCHEDULE A PHYSICAL. Vitamin deficiencies, thyroid problems, anemia, and hypoglycemia can produce symptoms akin to those produced by anxiety disorders and depression. Migraines and stomach problems often coexist with anxiety disorders.
EXERCISE. The first thing therapists recommend is aerobic exercise at least 20 minutes three times a week. This elevates the level of endorphins, tryptophan, melatonin, and serotonin. These brain chemicals affect your sense of well-being, the ability to be calm and flexible, and your sleep. Exercise increases blood flow in the brain to help nourish it. It gives more energy, which also improves mood.
Go easy on exercise right before bedtime. Late-evening workouts raise body temperature and metabolism, which impedes sleep.
Take your exercise outdoors in the sunlight as much as possible. Natural light promotes good moods. It also helps regulate your internal pacemaker to give you sounder sleep.
EAT WELL. Protein is rich in calming amino acids that help produce mood-regulating neurotransmitters. Low levels of serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine have been traced to worry, irritability, and moodiness.
Protein-rich foods include lean fish, turkey, milk, eggs, nuts, and produce such as avocados, peaches, and raisins. Eat protein snacks rather than carbohydrates to prevent hypoglycemic blood-sugar drops that make people agitated, anxious, and unable to focus. Contrary to popular belief, sugary or bready snacks decrease energy and dopamine levels. Graham crackers and pretzels are soporific and are good evening nibbles to bring on drowsiness.
Try to eat fish three times a week; its omega-3 fatty acids keep brain-cell membranes responsive to important brain chemicals. As hunter-gatherers, we found plenty of omega-3 in wild game and plant leaves. Today the best sources are mackerel, salmon, bluefish, sardines, tuna, swordfish, and oysters.
Have sufficient levels of vitamins B6 and E, both of which are linked to the body's production and use of serotonin. Walnuts, peanuts, and sunflower seeds contain vitamin E.
Calcium seems to combat anxiety as well. Calcium comes not only in milk but in broccoli, corn, baked potatoes, almonds, peanuts, and oranges.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
It seems reading things that remind me of where I want to be really does help, but I have to read them more than once. They must not sink in good or else they run on out!
I always heard don't pray for patience or God will send you trials to develope it. I am going to try to do it an easier way and focus on setting goals.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
The kids dentals went well. It was my usual crazy sort of morning. First Tara came in from outside and had to go in the tub for a quick rinse, then I got my sheets and towels all spread out in my car, (was afraid someone would be sick on the long drive home), got the kids loaded and realized I had no idea where my car keys were. Took forever to find them and they weren't someplace I would normally put them.
When we arrived there was the vet, two assistants, (I have never seen her have two there at the same time before), and the lady in the office. The kids got a warm welcome. After we chatted and they greeted all the kids they took Breeze back to start her on her fluids, (I did have them run fluids on all the kids but B got extra), Shimmer went first and she came out to get me to show me he had a tooth he had broken off, it wasn't a problem she said, just wanted me to know he had it and where it was at.
The lady in the office spread a couple of comforters on the floor for my other kids to wait their turn on. After a bit the vet carried Shimmer out to me and I got on the floor on the comforter and put him on my lap. He was wrapped in a towel but started shivering so they brought me another towel for him. They kept B back there a while after her turn to run a few more fluids then I got her. While the vet was working on B one or the other of the assistants kept coming out and updating me on how she was doing, the oxygen flow and heart rate. It all stayed good through the proceedure! She had had some pain medication as well so she slept for a long time. When she came then they also brought a heating pad. Shim was still pretty out of it so I had B on my lap and him beside me. Later I had B on my lap and a sleeping dog on either side of me!
We think we may have found the source of B's ongoing infection. Her canine on the same side as the sinus infection was in bad shape on the inside where you couldn't really see it. She had to have 3 teeth pulled, but that isn't too bad for 16 years old.
That is how it went the rest of the day they kept bringing me sleeping dogs and I spent the day on the floor. I am getting too old for that!!!!!! We had the whole waiting room, ended up with two comforters, lots of towels and the heating pad. We arrived at 8:30 and left at 4:45, long day! The staff, my vet and a sales lady helped walk the kids before we loaded them in the car for the trip home. NO ONE GOT SICK!!!
B did have a rough weekend but is back to eating now. Took her in this past Saturday for a culture to see if we need to switch her antibiotic as she has been on them for so long and the infection isn't clearing up yet.
What a day and never a dull moment with the kids around!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I counted and NO, I'm not saying how many!!! 
I like the articles. 