* If B felt the same way about the OW as he does with you, would he have swallowed his pride and gone through the difficult process of reconciling the R? * If B felt the same way about the OW would he have let her go as soon as he saw you slipping away? * Is ML with B a primary way for you to satisfy your needs or an excellent opportunity for you to portray your emotional and physical love to him.
I am sure what you are experiencing is normal. It is difficult for someone to forget an extreme emotional event. I do know time will help. I talked to a friend of mine here in town and he said it is hard for him to remember the details of his wife's A. He accomplished this by not dwelling on it (thought stopping) and looking at all the positives he and his W have experienced since the A.
My feeling is that it will take time. As long as both of you continue to express your emotions and feelings, openly and honestly, the strength of your R will outweigh the weight of the A. You may never forget the A, but you certainly can forgive to the best of your ability.
It comes down to how you handle the feelings when they surface. If you dwell on the negative, you will get negative results. If you stay positive and recognize all of the effort and the benefits of the effort, the past will not haunt you nearly as long. Also remember, it is B who had the A. He is doing a very honorable, noble and at the same time difficult thing. He is carrying a ton of guilt because of his actions. He is putting every effort into the R to win back your love. HE IS MAKING HIS WRONG, RIGHT! Not every guy in the world would do that. You are fortunate to have someone who will.
Let time heal and follow your heart. From your post I can tell you are in conflict with what your heart and mind are saying. It is OK to use both, but let the actions speak for B. I think they hold the answer you are looking for.
