Sounds like you need a little boost in the emotional energy department. Well here it comes.......
We all go throught this stage. Not just in our current situation but in any R we have. This is the calm after the storm. We have clawed and begged and drug ourselves throught the quagmire of infidelity. We have seen benefits, we have seen our spouses grow, we have a vision of what the future may bring. But where does this all end? We get tired, our minds still drift now and then to the past and we stir up ugly memories. We know we shouldn't do this but it happens.
Emotional Energy Boost #1
when our thoughts go to the past we MUST not dwell on them. Purposely bring your thoughts around to the BEST time you have had. Let yourself be reminded of how far you have come in a short time.
Emotional Energy Boost #2
Look back at the emotional mess we all were when we first discovered DB. Now look where WE are. Pretty darn amazing right? Well pat yourself on the back. Take credit for the enormous amount of energy and effort we have expended to get where we are. Recognize the benefits of how the lowest point in our lives has brought us to become better in ourselves. Recognize the relationship skills we have built and our ability to apply them. Again, pretty significant accomplishment.
Emotional Boost #3
Take a look at B. In accomplishing all of the above and not running away ourselves, look at how we have benefited our spouses. Through our actions, they have found the path back to their commitment. "it takes one to tango" If not for our actions we would be single.
There is more to do, but please recognize how far you have come and what you have accomplished. This process is one of the hardest things you could ever do and you are doing a great job!!!!
Maybe it is time to set yourself a few simple goals again to get things off of dead center. Throw out some ideas and see what people think. I know you can come up with something creative. Maybe even think of something to do just for you. Recharge yourself. When was the last time you went to see your new niece in L.A?
I'm always just a phone call away.
Patience is still your best friend. Use it to your advantage.
