Quote: Ellie, if you think that H is depressed and MLCing, and it can take YEARS to go through, I am not sure I can go through this for more YEARS.
It's possible - certainly if H takes up with w3, (which it sounds like he might) the ride is going to be a longer one - and I wouldn't blame you for wanting to get off. But I guess the more important question right now is this: if you are going to give him until April - what are you going to do differently in that time? Just doing more of the same for the next three months doesn't seem like much of a plan.
Can you look back through your threads and see what has seemed to work in the past to bring out baby steps? Is it time for a genuine LRT? If you plan to start dating or do more to make him think you are really dating - maybe now, before his thing with w3 really heats up, is the best time to do that.
As for lunch - why not just go and observe? (No. don't bail him out by having it at your house.) If he starts talking about w3 - why not just say "look, I don't tell you about MY love life, I'd appreciate not having to hear about yours."
And more important than all of this - you need to really GAL. Solve your financial problems. If you won the lottery tomorrow and were independently wealthy, what choices would you be making about the R? You need to get yourself to a place where the financial issues don't matter.