I am sorry that you are feeling this way today. But I do understand the feelings you are having about tired of being tired. I hit that place many times.
Watching our WAH go thru the painful crises that they are dealing with (or not in many cases, mine included) is just as painful, in not more so, because we get the brunt of the cruelty, the confusion, etc etc etc.
IMHO all the emotions you are dealing with now is your way of detaching, letting go. I look at it as grieving. You are grieving the loss of your former life and love. I think you have done a fantastic job in dealing with your H and all his antics. Personally, I thought the mass e-mail to all his women was quite a classic! You have handled yourself with style and grace.
Again, just my opinion, but maybe this invite you should turn down. If for no other reason than to save your sanity. I know in my case there were several instances that I could not subject myself to being in my H's presence.
You need to move forward in your life, with or without him. Right now that may mean stop being the friend to the extent that you extend invitations to him. Chat with him if he initiates first, but don't go out of your way to call or e-mail him unless it's about your D.
Maybe what your H needs is a dose of true reality. The reality that says you will not be there for him at every turn. That your house is not a stopover between him and the OW.
Trust me when I say I KNOW how hard this is. But you need to take care of yourself and not worry about the things your H does or does not do. Don't just occupy your time, but occupy your mind with other things that interest you, to help from thinking so much about what H is doing.
Take care of yourself, pamper yourself even if it's with just a little something. Start thinking about what you would be doing right now if you didn't have all this mess with your H to deal with? Put all the negative talk away and ask yourself "what do I want to do with my life?"
Let us know what thoughts come from that.
Take care, JL
Life is not measured in the breaths we take, but in the moments that take our breath away...
You have handled yourself with style and grace.
