D and I were away for two days, staying with H's nephew (who is only a couple of years younger than us) and his wife and two kids. We had fun, the kids played, we went swimming in some thermal baths, ate out, etc.
On Sunday morning I was up early after disturbing dreams, nephew also got up earlyish, and somehow we got talking about H and our situation. I shed a few tears, and he was very seeet and tried to comfort me. We talked about things. He again said how distressed he and his wife were about H's visit to them just prior to the bomb when I was away, how casual he sounded about ending a ten year marriage... How, unfortunately, like his father he was behaving. I was saying how impossible it is to move on completely when there is a child involved, and different countries.
Later on I went for a walk with his wife and she said what a 'particular' person H is (that's the word I use for him, it is the polite one, there are others who are more forceful in their assessment of H!)
I told the nephew that I was still holding on to some hope for a reconciliation, which I think surpised him, he asked whether the events of the last 21 months were overlookable, and I said, yes, if H wanted to work on things.
I saw a copy of "He's just not that into you" in the bookshop and speed read it. It seems to me to be relevant to dating, but surely not to marriage? Do you just accept that your spouse stops 'being into you' after a decade or decades of marriage, children and building a life together? Seems a little simplistic to apply it to our situations here.
Got home to a voice mail from H, saying he wanted D to ring him, he had been out late on Saturday, eating at w3's place.
I think I will be pretty dark now, any contact will have to come from his side. He knows what I told him about my being open to him till April, after which I will have to cut my losses. Meanwhile, I will just concentrate on myself.
The number of students is way down, as usually after the vacations I get lots of dropouts. Met the American woman at school today and she was saying the same thing, times are lean.
Guess I need to get to work on my other options!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
