LNL - time to just stop worrying about your H. Hope w3's BF catches him with her and beats the you-know-what out of him! A little reality therapy might be good for him right now
As for the homework/underwear/parenting thing - cheeseless tunnel here. guys aren't that great about these things anyway, and WAH's are the worst. Once your D is a little older it won't be a problem, she'll look after herself. Just start teaching her - no percentage in nagging H, he'll just do even less to rebel against you.
Now - let's focus on you and the fabulous life you are going to create for yourself and the new people you are going to go out and meet. What are your goals? How are you going to solve the perennial babysitting problem? What are your work plans?
