D and I were just having lunch when she started telling me that H's landlord was 'mad'. I asked her why, and she said, they keep changing their plans about when they go and and are coming down. (So D's lift gets mucked about.)

I said, they are just H's landlord's family, they are not obliged to run their lives according to our requirements, we are lucky that they are able to give you a lift so much of the time, from door to door, no less, where there is no public transport alternative for the whole distance.

Then she said, at least you 'got' another day...

I said, we had arranged that you come down Tuesday evening, as you couldn't get a lift, your Dad brought you down Wednesday morning, I didn't 'get' another day. Anyway, I trust you had a nice time up there, with your Dad?

She picks up on all H's little rants and skewed views. Does H really see this as my having 'got' or 'won' one more day without D???

I really hate all this 'division' and 'sharing' of our daughter, it is never totally comfortable. When H was here over Christmas and asked me about my plans, I stupidly said, in front of D, that I would like, and had planned for, 4 to 5 days without D, which came out sounding awful to D, no doubt.

And really, it is not about my not wanting D, but more that I want to be able to plan something in my life, as what I do with D will not always be exactly the same as what I do if she is not here.

I trust D knows very well how much I love her and will not take things the wrong way. Or maybe I need to tell her in so many words? I thought my H knew that I loved him too...

Livnlearn

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates