Quote: For instance, on this site, and even to me directly, he has referred to himself as an alpha male... and I don't know whether to laugh or retch at this perception.
I think, any guy who has tyo declare himself an alpha male, probably isn't!
Quote: He has a lot of unresolved issues to do with his innate feeling of superiority (perhaps linked to his deep seated feelings of inferiority?) that others have pointed out to me in the past.
Bingo!
Quote: I don't want to go back to a man who -
Doesn't or can't show me that he cares, especially when I am down, depressed, ill or whatever.
Funny, my H, who is normally a kind and caring sort, was like this with me too. In his case, it had to do with coming from a family where the ethic was "suck it up! Be tough!" - so much so that I think it actually made him anxious if I did anything less (and no, I'm not a whiny crybaby when I'm sick).
Quote: These were two issues that got my goat even during the 'good times', so I think they are too important to ignore now. They are deal breakers.
In my case, my H had lots of good qualities before the aliens took him, so I fought hard for him. Sounds to me, though, you are finding you can't say the same about your H? I agree he would have to grow up - a lot! - in order for you to ever consider wanting him back - and that he doesn't sound like the best candidate for that growth. But I would never ASSume that he is incapable. There must have been something you saw in him, to make you fight this hard for this long.
Still - loving detachment, drop the rope, GAL. You know the drill
