Where's my sick bag? Ride getting bumpy!

[Livnlearn]

You know, OW 1's reponse to H's circular really does all the work for me, it has done me a service, letting me off the hook, as it were -

She thought she swould take a leaf out of H's book (bunching us all together) and reply to all in likewise manner.
Well, her replying has meant that H knows, sort of, what we think, only *I* didn't have to say it!! So he will feel no antagonism from my side.

She has never met OW 2, but Livnlearn has been hurt enough ( gosh, she has noticed???) and she doesn't mean to hurt us further....
Well, OW 1 has finally (sort of) admitted that she and H have done wrong and hurt me, after all the denials...


But says, H is behaving like a strutting cock, who after years of wallowing in gloom, probably brought on by himself,
Here, OW 1 firmly puts the reason for H's gloom back in his lap, presumably she can now see that I didn't 'drive him away', as he told her and she initially chose to believe

he has now got his little harem and has decided to shoo us off like flies who are anoying him.
I told H on Christmas day that the thing I found most hurtful and unacceptable was his rude and supercilious behaviour, his behaving like a little God... now he has someone else (his 'friend' and 'sister' no less) saying the same thing to him!!

By writing like that to all of us he has humiliated the three of us. (Livnearn note: *I* don't feel humiliated, rather, I feel sorry for H ... )

Says, many have commented on H's pompousness but OW 1 has always defended him, now she sees they are right and she was wrong.
Same here, I have 'defended' H so much against the outside world, without making any boasts about it... I guess he has always taken it for granted.

So, not to count on any friendship or sisterhood with her.
He doesn't get to choose all of the time!! He doesn't control all of his relationships/friendships on *his* terms only....

Talking about gloom, I returned to a very cold house after four days away and the heating turned off, so to keep warm I put on a CD of dance music and was dancing away completely on my own for nearly an hour and thoroughly enjoying myself!

And was thinking, that H has been so down for so long, sort of sneering, anti everything. He just put a damper on so much, and all along I thought it was something to do with me. Perhaps he really is just clinically depressed. He would have sneered at the music I was dancing to, as it is sort of mainstream pop stuff, but I was having FUN. When I went to my country of origin last summer, I went out a few times with my good friend to dance parties and really had FUN, even though there was nobody 'interesting' for me there, no one to have an R with or anything. Even D came along to a couple and enjoyed herself as the only kid there, 'cause she's outgoing and fun to be with.

I think I picked up on H's depression and personalised it as a reaction to me, all these years.

Remember, when H dropped the bomb, he told me the bottom line was that OW 1 was just plain more FUN to be with. That was after I had challeneged him on all the other reasons he had been giving me for leaving.

Livnlearn