Hello JL, HP, Pam, Ellie, Mojo, Slowly and all,

Thanks for your input. I STILL don't have an answer to the questions posed as I have been busy today...

But, a further update.

H rang this evening, told me his landlord wasn't going up tomorrow as planned but the day after. Somehow I understood him to mean on Friday evening like he often used to do when going up on a regular weekend. I have plans to leave on Friday morning. H thought I was leaving tomorrow. So H was talking about the possiblities of my leaving D at a friend's house for him to pick up tomorrow.

Then I asked about whether he wanted the shopping he asked me to do? He said, I can't manage that and D up to my house, (he lives in a fairly isolated place). Then H said, in a calm way, either I need to stay at your place overnight, or take her to stay with OW 1, you tell me what you think.

Well, at least he wasn't TELLING me or threateneing me, he was outlining his difficulty. My mind was in a fuddle, I had had so many people reschedule lessons etc, I was just telling H that I would think about a solution, when it occured to me we had been talking at cross purposes - D could go up with the landlord on Friday morning. So that was settled.

Positives -

H wasn't belligerent or aggressive.

He is being upfront about possibly needing to take D to OW 1, and avoiding it, not doing it and rubbing my face in it.

He isn't spending New Year with OW 1, I don't think. (I hope she isn't going up there..... )

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I am feeling a littel more positive about life today. Having agreed to pay half the mortgage means less pressure on H, and my problem will be to find the money, not have an eternally angry H breathing down my neck. The agreement will remain the same, so if things get really bad, I may have to revert ot it, but hopefully not.

I was independent before I married H, and I wasn't the one with a private income either, I just managed and lived within my means. So I need to find my feet again.

Wonder what H willl come up with next?

He has still not answered my query about why he felt he was here on sufferance.

I have another busy day tomorrow, so don't know when I will post next, until next week, and I haven't even got my New Year's resolutions sorted out!!!! Oh well, better busy than depressed, huh?

Livnlearn

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates