Thanks for your comments and I do want feedback on this subject.
Sorry Liv if this is hijacking your thread.
I agree with what you say Ellie....that's the exact reason that we're here isn't it? If we didn't stand by our marriage vows we wouldn't be here discussing what to do next.
But there are two points that I want to make concerning this article. The first one is us being in a destructive relationship.....why would we want our h's back when they have been abusive to us? Of course it's because we belive that the relationship is a good one but we would need to combat the abuse....by that I mean the abuse would have to stop. Also this e mail actually does talk about accepting the abuse or mistreatment in the past means that it's unwritten that that abuse is acceptable to you. I think the article is saying that in order to renegotiate the relationship you need to be outside of that relationship in order to renegotiate it. The only way to negotite is to be in a place where you are comfortable and that is outside the relationship. It's a personal thing really...and I am talking as someone who has been physically abused. I think it would not be safe for me to negotiate in any other way but from outside the relationship.....because negotiating inside the relationship makes me vulnerable to attack.
And yes I have three children Ellie and their welfare is paramount to me. I look at them everyday and see sadness in their eyes. But I also see a happiness that was never there before. My youngest used to wet the bed and that has stopped since her father has left. Yet I still want that man back!
This is MY problem I know but it was Liv who said she could see similarities between her h and mine....and so I wanted to share some thoughts with her. Having said that I wouldn't say that these thoughts applied to her or anyone else. This was an e mail sent directly to me by a friend but I DO think that some or all of it could apply to others.
