Good of you to stop by, and thanks for popping in after my middle-of-the-night rant.
Quote: Hmmm. So, he has total visibility of what you do when he is not around, who you socialise with. He gets to cancel arrangements with you. And he gets to hang out with ow. Now, how is this different from when he first moved out? If you had a choice, what of these dynamics would you like to change (those that are within your control, of course )
That's the eternal question on this thread, isn't it?
H gets to stay here when he needs to*, yet lectures me on how he is my ex-husband, tells me he and OW 1 are just friends (remember at bomb time she was just a 'dear' friend? That one made me want to gag) but prefers to stay there when he can.
Even the fact that my H is jealous whenever I show signs of getting away and having fun, getting a life. I wonder if it is just irritation that I am not miserable while he might be, that I have any sort of fun while he is PAYING for it... I mean, he can hardly say that my going away last weekend was a splurge when we were staying with friends.
(* I forgot to mention in my last post, that when he was leaving and we had the convo about his surgery, he was saying that it was awkward, he knew he might be unduly anxious, but he didn't want to be in the hills on his own after it, and I said to him, if he needed somewhere to stay afterwards he knew he was welcome to stay here for a few days, and he said, thanks for offering. Wonder whether OW would be up for that?)
This business of showing unconditional love all the time they are running after OW is SOOOOOO hard, where do we draw the line?
What really upsets me is his rants about selling our house so he can have access to the capital. I don't know if this is just temporary rage at being hard up, or does he really not mind destroying D's home and just ripping up everything we were trying to get together?
He continually harps on how he has paid for it. All my years of labour for our family is not represented in bricks and mortar, so I have done nothing? Excuse me?
To answer Ellie, the law in this country, at least during separation, is that the child stays with the primary custodial parent (usually the mother) and has the right to continue in the marital home. I think this is right. Of course when it is the mother who is having an affair and wants out, then I don't know what happens, if the H has to move out and lose everything or what.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
