Got yet ANOTHER letter regarding the business here at the house yesterday. I opened it in front of my H and he asked me what it was. I told him it was a request for money owed by the business for corporation fees that were past due. He stated very emphatically that he was not going to pay it and that I could just set it aside because he wasn't going to forward it to BMOW either. He hoped it would speed up the demise of the business by handling it this way.
You know, after that exchange, I think a light bulb turned on for me finally. My H just does not appear to really want to be accountable for a whole lot of things that he did. I am beginning to believe that is the REAL reason we have not had many good talks yet about what he did that really are necessary for healing, and I think it is why he is avoiding BMOW and dealing with this business. He simply doesn't want to be accountable to her OR me for everything that happened. Thank you Lord for the revelation. I now wonder if he never accepts accountability for what he has done, what kind of marriage are we going to have in the long run?
I also just had another thought that H's lack of accountability may be what is keeping him from a relationship with the Lord too.
I have lots more to think about and consider now. Time for much prayer on my part. I can assure you that the next time I make an attempt to talk with H and he tells me it is still too painful, or he just wants to forget it and not address anything as he does quite often, I will gently bring up the issue of accountability and see how it goes from there.
LG--sizing up the wall of unaccountability H has built between us and what it is going to take to tear it down
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
