Respecting my H so that he gives Love in Return

[trustinginHim]

The lithotripsy was postponed for a week as the doc felt that the kidney with the stent was still too swollen and bruised. It appears that my H will have to undergo this procedure at least twice, once for each kidney, at two different times. Both kidneys are not done at the same time as H and I thought. And if one of the treatments doesn't break the stones up sufficiently the first time, as soon as the kidney is healed, back we go again for more.

This week, H has been struggling with pain related to his non-stented kidney. There are two stones in it that are even larger than the 8 millimeter one in his stented kidney, and H's fear is that they will try to move down the ureter before he gets them lithotripsied, thus demanding that his other kidney receive a stent also.

Our medical costs are skyrocketing. My H initiated another talk with me about his internet business and BMOW and how glad he was that he did not invest any more money, as we now need it for his medical bills. He also reiterated for me that he definitely just wants the business dissolved. I asked why, as I could take it over and he had worked so hard on it and poured so much money and time into it. His response? It reminds him of an awful period in his life when he was a failure to me and he wants to start other new things with just him and me!!

The other reason for dissolving the business would be because of BMOW. He believes that she would fight us to the bitter end for the business if they simply removed her and gave the business to me. He says that would be the ultimate insult to her and instigation to start a fight. He doesn't want us to have to go through that when it would be simpler to end this business and start new things up that she has no knowledge or part of. He feels she will just go away somewhat more quietly if the business just closes and is dissolved. She will have less to fight for this way.

H also passed on to me that one of the business partners mentioned in passing to him that BMOW had officially divorced her H. Hey SC--This means that her fiance can now officially be recognized as her fiance! My H just shook his head when he told me. He said, "I ended my personal relationship with her on April 5 of last year, and less than nine months later, she has divorced her H and is engaged to someone she has known less than six months." I just nodded my head, but was thinking to myself that her actions really spoke volumes about the kind of person she is. I will continue to be a prayer warrior for her.

After sharing the above tidbit of info with me, my H went on to vent about his past relationship with her. He had absolutely nothing good to say about her this time. I think his head is clearing finally. The Lord continues to work on him.

Speaking of the Lord, my H made a couple of interesting remarks to me this week regarding divine intervention, plus we had a good talk one morning that he initiated. It just shows me that he has God on his mind and is processing things. I like that.

The other talk we had this week that H initiated too involved our sex life. He mentioned that his biopsy site is healed, but now he has his stent and kidney problems and didn't want to risk any pain. I responded that perhaps it just isn't time yet and that we will have to continue to be patient. Then H said, "But you know I love you, right? I realize that I still have lots to prove to you, but you do know that I love you, right?" Lots of positives this week.

On the Love and Respect front, and a very good reason I did not directly ask my H about his secret hotmail account: I read in the book that wives confront their H's for connection and reassurance, but husbands view this as control and a disagreement usually ensues. Unless a husband understands about the connecting process, a wife's confrontation to connect will fail. My H absolutely would have seen my directly asking him about his secret hotmail account as a confrontation to control and the discussion would have gone downhill from there. I am pleased with the way it all turned out though. I didn't have to confront him and he brought it up. Regardless of what he may really be using the secret hotmail account for, I think that in time, his guilt will dictate that he close it, and that will be the end of that.

LG--loving the Lord for His work in her life