2ndChances5 thanks for the kind reply and the LTR definition. I have a long list of terms (6 months of reading 4 web sites) in a wordprocessor file, LTR was not there. Palm of hand swiftly to forehead reaction here.
BTW, I now think I should have answered JJ post playing her H, not a stranger. I think it would have helped JJ more than what i posted.
{{soap operas, and Desperate Housewives.}}
W watches one soap at lunch, I kind of watch. They have such far out plots that are supposed to look serious, sexy, dangerous, or what ever, that I find myself saying, never in a million years, or I start laughing at what is going on. Too much Discovery Science and History channel might be my problem?
I never watched the Desperate Housewives so I do not know what goes on there. I love the Wife Swap series. Especially when the compulsive spouse backs off and the famalies benefit as a whole. I see the characters as being real but extreme. I also see them haming it up to make the show more interesting
{{Frankly, I usually just wanted the sex}}
Sounds like a very good mental attitude and I think you reasons are noble, that is me too BTW. I have been in a situation occasionaly where I did not do enough, or do something on time and have been subject to lack of nookie until I made amends, sometimes justified, other times it seemed like passiv/agressive payback.
{{....reasons/situations in which you would not follow .....make sense, and show that you are able to think with the big head, even if the little one is tempted.}}
The little one speaks loud and clear and even gets me shaking in my boots sometimes.. Then that 50's moral stuff and the Kohlberg Moral Development stuff starts to kick in. I put my mind in the womans place, then a potential childs place, and finally is what I am thinking of doing, is it good for society. Here is how that goes.
If I were the woman what was I really after? If I did follow through and the woman got PG and I was the fetus would the adult relationship last to raise the child? Would I as the fetus choose both of the adults to be my parents? As a man, If I could see the future, would I be proud of all of the outcome.
However I am rethinking my standards. No possability of woman getting PG, medical and mental histories honestly shared, similar reasons for the relationship seems more reasonable. The get what you can attitude is still not my style.
I read all of your posts by clicking on your screen name. I did not see too much of your situation (problems with your H or things you wanted to do), did I miss something.
OG Lou Trying to clarify some of my internal issues for now.
I found your reply interesting but not terribly relevant. I was using my sexual giles to manipulate my H, but I was trying to manipulate him into having sex with me, so his thought patterns would have to be very strange indeed to resent this.
" Mmm..she thinks by fondling her breasts she will cause me to become sexually aroused enough to want to have sex with her. How dare she interrupt my viewing of Ted Koppel and his insightful take on the day's events! I'll show her who's the boss of my penis. Someday when everything is going just right in my life and she's been extra nice, I might allow myself to be distracted and aroused by her sluttish hijinks, but for now....(distracted from reverie by my actions)Why are you getting all dressed up? Where are you going in those high heels on such a cold evening? Don't you want to stay here with me and Ted Koppel? Who will make me a midnight snack?"
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Monday was our first official day of scheduled sex and it went okay. H was not in the mood but joked around with me trying to get in the mood and finally took matters "in hand" to make himself available. I tried to keep the mood "light" also and we ended up having a pleasant and pleasing but not terribly "hot" encounter.
Yesterday (Tuesday) was my H's bday. I gave myself a bit of anxiety trying to figure out what to do about "birthday sex". We weren't scheduled for sex, so what should I do? Should I assume that he would best appreciate no offer and therefore no pressure or should I make the offer but be super-friendly about a turn-down or what? I really was trying to figure out what he would most appreciate (I did all the other things I usually do for his birthday. I made him a grand-slam breakfast, his choice for dinner, baked him a cake, bought him a present and took my daughter to buy a present from the kids).Finally, I decided to just ask him in the evening if there was anything else he'd like me to do to make his birthday special. He said he'd really appreciate it if I would go out and get some more spring water because we were low. So this is what I did with as much goodwill and grace as I could muster.
Negative thoughts about husbands who like spring water better than sex tried to prevent me from getting a good night's sleep, but I managed to shut them down. This morning I find myself simultaneously in possession of a good mood and a bad attitude.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
JJ: If I were you, I would have gotten the spring water for him, taken off my clothes, stood in front of him while I poured it over my body and said, "here's your spring water, birthday boy. You better come and lick it off while it's still dripping wet."
Quote: If I were you, I would have gotten the spring water for him, taken off my clothes, stood in front of him while I poured it over my body and said, "here's your spring water, birthday boy. You better come and lick it off while it's still dripping wet."
I appreciate your creative efforts on my behalf but I didn't want to damage my image of myself as someone who is nice to people on their birthdays so overly-assertive sexual acts were not on the agenda. Besides, you are forgetting that I live in a drafty old house in Michigan. Wet t-shirt season was over about 3 mos.ago around here.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Jenny, I think you did a good job thinking it through, and doing what you felt HE would be comfortable with, and appreciate. As such, you were being very nice.
My heart goes out to you, when you sweetly asked if there was anything else and he asked you to bring him water. I know that must have hurt, and that it must have taken some effort to handle it graciously.
Kudos to you lady. He's lucky to have you, whether he knows it or not.
