Jenny, I am at a similar place as you and have been here a while. Our relationship difficulties have been sorted out and, yet, he still wants his sexual independence. I get the impression that he wishes sex were not such an interactive experience (sorta kidding, but not really). He wants it when he wants it but doesn't like the feeling of having to give it when I need it given.
He cringes when he hears me describe how his sexual behavior appears to me.
