Quote: I have been HD as far as I can remember and in EVERY relationship I've ever had, not just this one. When H was still very interested in sex, there was no corresponding dropoff in my libido. It remained strong as ever and we just rocked the house more frequently, lol.
Of course. If you did not, I'd say something else was going on. Do you think that it might be possible that you could be a too efficient, take charge kind of gal? Meaning, your H knows that you are so efficient, so competent, he doesn't really feel needed by you. There is nothing he can do that you can't... except determine when you'll have sex. That is the ONE thing you need him for because he knows you won't go take care of yourself. Yet... you try to control the sex thing, too.
Sex is not about control (well.. most instances it isn't, but it can be fun sometimes) The two of you have got the psychological tug-o-war going on over who is going to control the sex in the HP Household.
This is one battle you will NOT win, and it isn't because you aren't beautiful or desirable. It is because he needs to feel needed by you, and it is my guess that this is the only outlet he has with you. So if he doesn't rise to the occasion every time you say you want it, then he still has your NEED of him.
HD/LD is not about winning/losing... though we turn it into that when we are smack dab in the middle of an SSM.
You are not starved for sex, dear. You are starved for control and WINNING, and for whatever reason, you LOVE beating men at their own game. You will match sexual steps with any man or die trying.
By turning this into a control issue, especially with the type of guy your H is, you are effectively contributing to the demise of his sex drive.
You need to change strategies, girl, or you are always going to feel frustrated. Full frontal assault isn't getting you what you want. Now if you can change your strategy so that you and your H BOTH get what you want, how is that losing?
Quote: Now, in my marriage, I am NOT in control of many many things, not just the sex, and that is the God's honest truth.
YOU may see it that way, but your H certainly doesn't. And I'm willing to bet you have control over darn near everything -- even more than you realize. Your H loves you and would climb a mountain for you, and that scares the hell out of him.... he's scared of losing himself to you, lock, stock and barrel.... because if anything ever happened to you or your kids, it would destroy him.
That is lots and lots of control, whether you want it or not.
